Stepping out of Isolation and into Community

Article by: Sarah Koontz, Founder of Living by Design Ministries

Have you ever been alone?  Surrounded by people but somehow completely isolated?

Friendship has never come easily to me. I am outgoing (probably too outgoing), I like to talk (probably a little too much), and I am opinionated (to a fault).

In my exuberant desire to connect with people, I tend to drive friendship away before it ever has the chance to blossom.

I carried around the weight of rejection throughout most of my young life.

One failed friendship after another left me feeling vulnerable and inadequate.

I have never felt more alone than the weeks following the birth of my first child.

After a devastating miscarriage and a season of unexpected infertility, I was finally a mother.

In spite of the joy I felt, I could not shake the feeling that something was missing in my life.

I am a daughter of the King and have been for as long as I can remember.

I hold tightly to the belief that He loves me and has an intricately woven plan for my life.

So this new mom got on her knees and asked the Lord, “Why do I feel so empty, even though I have been blessed with the child I have longed for?”

I did not receive an answer right then and there.

But a few weeks later, an acquaintance invited me to attend a local meeting for young Christian moms.

At first, I hesitated.

What if I get hurt again?

As I mulled over the decision, I quickly realized that this group was exactly what I needed.

It was time for me to step out of isolation and back into community, no matter how much the proposition scared me.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24-25

I was guilty of neglecting the call of Christ upon my life to be an active member of His body.

We were all created to live in community; to encourage and be encouraged by one another.

I had been using the failed friendships of my past to justify the wall of isolation that I had built around myself, and it was time to break free.

So I went to that first meeting and every subsequent meeting for the rest of the year.

I learned that the only way to be a true friend was to set aside my own insecurities and focus my energy on meeting the needs of others.

And something truly beautiful happened.

When I found the strength to step out of isolation and into community, I discovered a sense of purpose and belonging I had never felt before.

God regularly uses me to challenge and encourage the women in my little group, and He uses them to inspire and motivate me.

I have something unique to offer, and just like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, there is a spot that only I can fill.

My circle of friends is far from perfect, but it is exactly where I belong.

Had I never known what it felt like to be alone, I do not believe I would have had the resilience necessary to thrive in our flawed collective of women.

Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

When I prayed for the strength to step out of isolation and into community, I found the piece that had been missing from my life.

I discovered that fellowship with other women is worth fighting for because we are better together than we could ever be on our own.

I am no longer alone, I am no longer isolated.

I am no longer carrying the weight of the failed relationships of my past.

I finally found community, and I will never let it go.

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