A Guest Post by Natalia Drumm
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
Proverbs 31:10-11 ESV
Excellence. It’s a word that we use frequently, but very few people find attainable. I certainly didn’t for years.
Just last week my husband came home from work weary. Situations he was involved in weighed heavy on his heart.
After we put kids to bed and started talking he said something that made me take pause, “Babe, I need your wisdom. What do you think about….”
You see, for some this may be no big deal.
But for me, I value these words of my husband greatly because our conversations haven’t always been about him seeking my wisdom on situations.
But in that moment I felt like God smiled as He reminded me of where I’ve been as a wife and how far I’ve come.
Many, many years ago my husband and I were on the brink of divorce.
We had been fighting the same battles over and over in our marriage, and I was exhausted.
In my frustration, failure seemed easier than fighting.
Many, many years ago my husband and I were on the brink of divorce. In my frustration, failure seemed easier than fighting.We knew Christ, we grew up in church, we followed all the “rules,” so when we found ourselves knee deep in struggle we were left scratching our heads.
Why was marriage so hard?
No one prepared us for this. We loved each other, and we loved Jesus…why couldn’t we fix what seemed broken between us?
I searched marriage books, sought out magazine articles, and even spoke to friends who had been through divorce.
I sought information on my situation, but failed to seek biblical wisdom.
Until one day, in my desperation, I opened my Bible and begged God for answers. And friends, He was faithful to provide them.
Slowly and surely as I sought Him, surrendered my heart, stopped trying to fix my husband and worked on letting God fix me, I found the Hope and healing my heart was searching for.
But it looked nothing like how I imagined it would.
God revealed to me the desire of my heart, being an excellent wife, was attainable. I would just have to do it His way instead of the world’s way.
Today I’m sharing three difficult lessons I learned along the way.
God revealed to me the desire of my heart, being an excellent wife, was attainable. I would just have to do it His way instead of the world’s way.#1 – Information Doesn’t Equate to Biblical Wisdom
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;
fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 1:7 ESV
In my season of struggle, I did the first thing I knew to do. I educated myself.
As a former teacher, this seemed second nature.
If you don’t know the solution to a problem, what do you do?
You Google it!
It seemed like the right idea, but I failed to discern the difference between information and biblical wisdom.
It’s easy to do, and I believe the Enemy plays this trick well.
He overloads us with information, and we buy into a false sense of wisdom.
We believe we “know” what to do because we are educated on a matter.
While being knowledgeable about situations is crucial, knowledge isn’t the same as wisdom.
Knowledge tells me about situations. Wisdom guides me on how to handle situations.
Knowledge tells me about situations. Wisdom guides me on how to handle situations.I began to turn away from the information of the world and seek the wisdom of God.
In so doing, I shifted my eyes off of the problems in my marriage and allowed God to reshape and remake my heart.
As I drew closer to Him through His Word my mind and heart began to absorb biblical wisdom.
#2 – Biblical Wisdom Requires Work
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.
Proverbs 4:7 NIV
God began to shift me from a season of hurt to a season of healing, and I became aware of how much work I would be required to put in if I was to become a wise woman.
I wanted the title of “excellent wife,” but I wanted it to come easily.
God hastened to teach me that anything worth having would require work.
He also reminded me that I had been putting a lot of emotional energy and work into tearing down relationships, so I could just transfer that energy into restoring them instead.
As I began rebuilding my marriage and other relationships I saw God bless the work.
It may not have seemed obvious to many, but to me the blessings were huge.
And in time, not only was I different, everything in my life was different.
As God began to shift me from a season of hurt to a season of healing, I became aware of how much work I would be required to put in if I was to become a wise woman.#3 – Biblical Wisdom is Worth It
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:26 ESV
In our world of instant access information and solutions, having to invest time and effort into building up lives of wisdom can seem more work than it’s worth.
This is such a lie from Satan!
When he loses eternal control of our soul, the Enemy then shifts into stealing our victory, our relationships, our blessings, and our power as Christians.
I know because I fell prey to his schemes for far too many years.
Years I could have spent building a foundation of faith and wisdom in my marriage were lost to lies and selfishness.
But we serve a great and mighty God who is faithful to restore the years of brokenness.
And on the other side of my story is a marriage of restoration, rebuilding, and sweetness.
The years of struggle taught us the power of perseverance.
The changes that began in my heart soon transferred into my husband’s as he watched God work in my life.
What was once dry and dreary became fruitful and flourishing.
Where information and arrogance once filled my heart, God replaced it with wisdom and grace.
We serve a great and mighty God who is faithful to restore the years of brokenness. And on the other side of my story is a marriage of restoration, rebuilding, and sweetness.
Was the path easy or the results instantaneous? Absolutely not!
Would I love to repeat it? No way!
But do I regret it? Never!
The reward of biblical wisdom was worth the work.
Wisdom always requires work, and I’m constantly seeking after her.
I know her value and power in my life.
The changes in my family, the value my husband places on my input into his life, the trust built between us, they are all reminders of wisdom’s worth in my life.
Where are you, sweet friend? Are you a woman seeking wisdom? I pray you are because she will utterly wreck your life in the best of ways.
Are you a woman seeking wisdom? I pray you are because she will utterly wreck your life in the best of ways.We would love to have you join us for the Wisdom Whispers Bible Study.
All you need to complete this free online Bible study is fifteen minutes per day and an internet connection.
God has great things in store for us as we study and search His Word.
Biblical wisdom to transform our hearts, homes, marriages, relationships and so much more is ours for the taking.
So long as we are willing to do the work!
-Natalia
Natalia Drumm is a writer, speaker, and teacher with a heart for women’s ministry. She leads small groups in her local church and began Girlfriends in the Word, a community of women seeking to build strong relationships with God and others through time in Scripture.
Natalia works on the Creative Team at Living by Design Ministries as Bible Study Content Editor and writes for Lifeway Women’s Journey Magazine. She loves spending her time with her three boys and husband and can’t turn down a cold Coke and a chocolate chip cookie. Connect with Natalia on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest.
