“I’m pregnant! Again!” one of my best friends exclaims to me after arriving at my house.
My heart sinks and leaps for joy simultaneously. Can both things be true at the same time?
At that moment, I realize they can. I’m filled with happiness for my friend and a bit heartbroken that we can’t be in the same stage of life together.
I’m at the age where many of my friends are married and several have kids. I’m grateful for the gifts I see the Lord depositing in my friends’ lives.
And I love my life.
It’s full, beautiful, better than I could’ve dreamed, and nothing at all what I expected.
I thought I’d be married by 25, have my first kid by 27, and another by 29. I never would have believed this wouldn’t become a reality.
When I share my moments of wishing for life to look different, sometimes I’m met with phrases like:
God has a plan for your life—better than you could ever imagine!
God hasn’t forgotten you!
God’s working for your good!
But these well-meaning platitudes rarely make me feel better in a moment of hurt.
It’s hard to believe these things are true when you’re in the middle of the story.
But here’s what I’m learning in the midst of it all: Discouragement is good.
Yes, you read that right. Discouragement is good.
Discouragement Is Good for Our Souls
We’ve all walked through tough situations in our lives. We’ve had heartbreaks. We’ve known loneliness.
We’ve seen the world’s brokenness firsthand, and some days it feels like it might consume us.
But in our deepest longings, pain, suffering, and discouragements, we seek comfort.
Sometimes this may look like scrolling on social media. Other times, like filling our calendar to the brim so we don’t have to think about what we long for.
However, when we seek comfort in our discouragement from God—the One who knows us better than anyone—we get to know the Lord on a deeper level.
When we spend time with Jesus, it may not always fix what feels broken in the moment, but it reminds us of who we are—daughters and sons of the King.
When life is good, we may not feel as much of a need to spend time with the Lord.
But when life is hard, we turn to Jesus and know Him more deeply as a result. This is why discouragement is good for our souls.
3 Ways to Fight Discouragement
Whether we’re single or married, hold the highest-paying job or are barely making ends meet, we’re all longing for something. And sometimes that yearning can lead to discouragement.
We can push back against the lies the enemy whispers when we long for something we don’t possess.
Here are three practical ways to turn discouragement into good for our souls.
#1 – Build Biblical Community
Get plugged in at a local church. Be “all in” and watch how the Lord works.
This past year, I started attending a weekly Bible study where we talked about the upcoming sermon passage.
We discussed hard and heavy topics. We talked about life and got to know one another.
These women became my friends.
I feel comfortable being vulnerable about my faith and life with them.
Plus, I’m learning more about the character of Jesus through and with these ladies.
Go all in with your church this fall. Jump in and see what happens.
It could change your life.
#2 – Memorize Scripture
I struggle with memorizing Scripture, but committing the Word of God to memory allows me to recall truth during moments of discouragement.
Select a Bible verse or passage to memorize. Write it down and place it where you’ll see it often.
Here are some of my favorite verses to consider learning by heart:
- “Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 HCSB
- “Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – 2 Corinthians 4:16–18 HCSB
- “He must increase, but I must decrease.” – John 3:30 HCSB
- “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your care on Him, because He cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:6-7 HCSB
#3 – Check What You’re Consuming
Every time I open Instagram, I’m bombarded with all the things others are experiencing and I’m not.
An engagement. An acquaintance who looks like they’re living the dream in New York City. A baby announcement. A vacation I wish I could take.
And sometimes it’s just too much. It can be overwhelming to watch others get what you feel like you want.
What we read and watch has a greater impact on us than we may realize.
Consider setting aside a period of rest, or a mini Sabbath, from social media, television, or movies.
This could mean setting time limits for your daily use. Or, establishing a day of the week, afternoon, or evening, when you abstain from one, two, or all of these things.
Tell a few trusted friends about your need for a digital detox. Have them hold you accountable to the boundaries you establish.
Journal about how you feel during this period of rest. Intentionally dedicate some of this time to connecting with the Lord.
Discouragement Can Drive Us to God
God can handle our disappointment. We can learn more about the Lord as we wrestle with unmet expectations.
Let’s be active participants in the life God has called us to, and spend time with the Lord and in the Bible.
Remember, we aren’t meant to do life alone. Let’s connect with our communities and be honest with one another.
Growing and stretching can be for our good. Let’s leverage discouragement for our spiritual good and see how it can change our lives.
May discouragement drive us toward God—starting today.
Mary Spencer Veazey
Mary Spencer Veazey is a Georgia native known for infusing her writing with relatable and uproarious storytelling, coupled with profound truths about Jesus. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her cat Confetti and is the Engagement Manager for Daystar Counseling Ministries. Mary Spencer is a proud graduate of Auburn University (BA) and Belmont University (MBA). Connect with her on her website.
