By Jana Carlson
When my oldest daughter was engaged, I set aside my normal routine and dove into wedding planning.
The joyous celebration of this matrimony deserved the best I had to give.
My days quickly filled with attending wedding dress fittings, hosting guests, offering a shoulder to cry on at unexpected moments, and rescheduling work.
The emotional, physical, and spiritual energy required to put on a wedding caught me off guard.
But, I offered it gladly because I deeply love my daughter and wanted to make sacrifices to bless her with a beautiful wedding.
My experience during my daughter’s engagement taught me a lot about how to love.
Here are four truths I learned about loving people well:
1 – Love People Well with Intentionality
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Matthew 22:37–39 HCSB
Healthy relationships don’t happen automatically—they should be cultivated and nurtured. This requires intentionality.
My daughter’s wedding provided countless opportunities to love her well, but I had to choose to take advantage of those opportunities.
No one forced me to hand-make paper flowers, take time off work, or turn my phone on silent during a dress fitting, but I did. I wanted to give her my full attention.
Loving my daughter well during her engagement required some forethought.
My husband and I chose to bless her through financial support, time, and energy. We set a budget and reevaluated our priorities to help with the things that mattered most to her during those months.
Loving others well is a choice and, as Christians, it’s a choice we should make (1 Cor 13; 16:14).
2 – Love People Well Through Sacrifice
“No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:13 HCSB
Genuine, heartfelt, Christian love is inconvenient.
Loving our daughter well as we prepared for her wedding presented financial, physical, and emotional challenges.
Coordinating transportation alone demanded a shocking amount of inconvenience and effort because we are a single vehicle family.
However, if we intend to love people well, we should set aside our own agendas, step outside our comfort zone, and make sacrifices.
Jesus is our greatest example of loving people well.
Consider His demonstration of sacrificial love in the gospel:
- God is holy and sets His standard for holiness in the law (Ex 20:1–17).
- We are guilty if we fail to keep even one point of the law (Jas 2:10).
- No one can keep the law perfectly. We are all guilty sinners (Rom 3:23).
- Jesus took our punishment upon Himself when He gave up His life on the cross (Rom 5:8; 2 Cor 5:21).
- Jesus died, rose again, and lives today in Heaven (1 Cor 15:4).
- If we trust in Jesus for salvation and follow Him, we are made new—born again as righteous in Christ, free from the penalty of sin, and destined for a glorious eternity with Him (1 Jn 1:7–9; Rom 10:9; 2 Cor 5:17).
Jesus sacrificed His life for us—by choice—even though we didn’t deserve it (Jn 3:16–17).
When we love people sacrificially, we follow the example of Jesus Christ.
3 – Love People Well by Loving Like You Want to Be Loved
”Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them.” – Luke 6:31 HCSB
Few of us will literally give our lives for another person—we simply won’t be faced with that scenario.
But, we all have daily opportunities to consider others more important than ourselves, putting their interests before our own in love (Phil 2:3–4).
Have you experienced the love of others in any of the following ways?
- An unexpected or timely visit
- A thoughtful gift
- An offer to spend time with your children to give you a break
- Neighborly care of your home or pets while away
- Assistance in household chores or errands
- A kind word
- A home-cooked meal
Consider practical ways you’ve been loved well by others and look for opportunities to “pass it on.” The possibilities are endless.
We develop ways of loving others well by treating them the way we want to be treated.
4 – Love People Well by Loving Like Jesus
“Keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.” – Hebrews 12:2 HCSB
Loving well is hard.
We’re naturally selfish. We tend to choose comfort and convenience over the sacrifice required to love well.
How can we overcome our sinful nature and avoid growing weary in loving people well?
First John 4:19 HCSB tells us that “we love because He first loved us.”
When we acknowledge our unworthiness of God’s love and receive His grace, we are motivated to pass this love onto others.
When we consider Jesus’ love for us and all He did to demonstrate that love, the reasonable response is to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice and follow His example (Rom 12:1).
If loving someone well is a struggle today, make time to meditate on God’s love for us. (A good passage for this is Ephesians 2:1–10.)
Think of one person to love well today. How can we do that?
Seize opportunities to demonstrate love, step out of our comfort zone, treat this person as we want to be treated, and reflect on Jesus’ love for us.
The key to loving others well is receiving God’s love for us.
Jana Carlson
Jana Carlson is a writer, Bible teacher, and mentor. She inspires and teaches women and writers to love the Bible, experience its transforming power for every aspect of life, and wield the Word for God’s glory. Connect with her at janacarlson.com.
