Article by: Sarah Koontz, Founder of Living by Design Ministries
A few months ago I discovered my youngest daughter’s love language {insert enthusiastic and unapologetic momstyle dance moves here}.
This, my friends, is a huge victory in my little corner of the universe.
My little 8-year-old miss is strong-willed, sassy, creative, and oh-sooooooo-emotional.
I’ve always joked that if this sweet brown-eyed beauty been my first child, she would probably be my only child.
From the moment she was born, she has been pushing my limits and refining my mothering skills.
This girl came out of the womb knowing EXACTLY what she didn’t like about life here on earth, and I’ve been on a mission to discover what she does like ever since.
She is an absolute mystery to me, wild and free, impossible to tame or predict.
My daughter is an absolute mystery to me, wild and free, impossible to tame or predict. ]
Oh, how I have struggled to be consistent with my radically inconsistent child, to be patient and loving even when she tests my patience and refuses my love.
But I know that God has given her to me and commissioned me to love her well.
It all started when I stumbled upon…
A handwritten note she placed in her big sister’s lunch box.
“I hope you have a grate lunch. Plese be good Koontzs by eating all of your lunch.”
How sweet, I thought.
Maybe my little-one loves words, just like her mama.
So I grabbed a pen and sticky note and scribbled a few words for her lunchbox.
“Thank you for helping me make lunch today. I am so proud of you. You are growing up fast! I love you, have a great time at school.”
I noticed something different about her demeanor when I picked her up from school, but I couldn’t put my finger on it until she handed me a bright orange scrap of paper.
“Thank you so much for the card mommy. I luv you too. Thank you for saing I’m growing. It maad my hart happy.”
I barely finished reading the note before she threw her arms around my neck and gifted me with a brilliant smile and a kiss on the cheek.
LIGHT. BULB. MOMENT.
My daughter craves words of affirmation and feels my love when I take time to share my words with her.
We have exchanged several notes since then, and with each note, she invites me deeper into her little world.
Loving our children is not enough; we must also help them experience our love.I encourage her to include a question at the end of each note so we can learn more about each other, and she loves our new game.
I have finally found the key to her heart and am overcome with a sense of renewed purpose and joy.
Shortly after I started passing notes with both of my children {because it just would NOT BE FAIR otherwise}, my best friend forwarded me an e-mail she thought “my girls and I would be interested in.”
The e-mail contained a heartfelt request crafted by another #girlmom named Jaime.
She was in the process of launching the Kai Kai Brai Tell Me Anything Shared Journal for Mom & Daughter and was looking for bloggers/influencers to review her product.
WILDLY. WAVING. MY. HAND. IN. THE. AIR.
Jaime and I clicked right away, and she generously offered to send me two free journals, one for each of my daughters {praise the good Lord, #momsgottabefair}.
They arrived just in time for Christmas and although the boxes had my daughters’ names on them, I knew from the start that I was the one receiving the most precious gift of all.
The very first thing I did was sit them down at the computer to watch this super cute video that Jaimie and her girls put together, so they would understand how the shared journal experience works.
Then, my girls and I spent most of Christmas afternoon filling out our Mother-Daughter Shared Journals.
Can you believe that of all the toys and gifts my children received for Christmas, they decided to work on these journals first?
Wow! There’s some proof in that pudding…..
Our kids long to connect with us, to feel our love, and these journals give them the opportunity to do just that.
Looking for a new way to connect with your daughter? Check this out! #weheartkkbI have been blown away by the things my daughters (age 8 & 9) have been writing in our shared journals.
A Glimpse Inside Our Mother-Daughter Journals
My children are eager to share their hearts with me and I am blessed by the fact that they are inviting me into their tender places.
I was humbled by my eldest daughter’s written confession that she wishes I would be more patient with her and how much it hurts her feelings when I raise my voice in anger (ouch!) and delighted by my youngest daughter’s plea for advice on how to be nicer to her big sister.
In the front of the journal, we get to write our hopes for the shared journaling experience.
I thought it would be fun to share what the three of us wrote:
Mom: I want to know what you think; what’s important to you. I hope to help you when life gets hard, and want this to be a safe place for you to share your thoughts, feelings, and questions with me.
Daughter #1: We will tell what we feal about echather. Share ower very speshile sekrets. To get closer togeteher.
Daughter #2: That we can keep it a sekret and we can be excited of what you and I can say in this jurnal and we can shar love.
A few thoughts before you go…
Are you struggling to connect with someone you love? A parent, spouse, friend or child?
Don’t give up!
Keep searching for ways to connect with them, to show them how much you love them.
Try lots of different things and have patience, because most people don’t even know what makes them feel loved until they experience it.
In the words of John 13:34, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34
