By Dr. Billy Ready, Jr.
The froth-formed heart in my latte had long since dissolved as I absently stirred the cooling drink.
Across the worn wooden table of the coffee shop, my friend shared the raw details of his wife’s unfaithfulness. His voice cracked with emotion.
The gentle buzz of my phone felt like a magnet, drawing my eyes toward its glowing screen even as a tear formed in the corner of my friend’s eye.
Later that night, as I lay in bed, my friend’s words and a gnawing sense of regret echoed in my mind.
Was I present for my friend in those precious moments at the coffee shop?
Had I offered the gift of my full attention? Or only given fragments of myself?
We live in a world where our phones’ message alerts, flashing screens, and notifications promise something urgent, something essential. But in chasing these digital moments, we risk missing the real ones unfolding right before us.
As Christians, we’re invited into a deeper way of loving—one that begins with the simple, sacred act of listening.
Listening According to the Bible
The Bible speaks to us about listening with an urgency that transcends time.
In the book of James, the author writes, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” (Jas 1:19).
This is more than offering wise advice.
James reveals something profound about God’s heart—His heart always bends close to hear us. Whether we’re crying out in joy or whispering our deepest fears, God listens to what we share.
The habit of listening to someone’s story before offering advice can be seen in Scripture.
King Solomon, known for his godly wisdom, addresses the importance of listening before responding. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 18:13, “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.”
Genuine wisdom begins with attentive listening and an open heart.
Jesus showed us what loving listening is like. In John 4, Jesus did something revolutionary when He met the woman at the well—He genuinely saw her, heard her, and engaged with her questions and pain.
Through this simple act of focused attention, this woman walked away changed.
Jesus didn’t just hear her story. He rewrote it.
Listening: A Springboard for Loving Well
Listening goes beyond merely hearing words—it’s love in action. Here are five steps to genuinely love someone by listening well.
1 – Keep the Spotlight on the Speaker
We’ve all sat across from someone, our minds racing with some advice to share. Or a similar story to tell.
Maybe we’ve mentally composed the perfect response while the person is still speaking.
But what if we said through our presence, “Your story matters to me more than anything else at this moment?”
Rather than inserting our advice or own experience, we can offer the gift of our focus on what’s shared. To engage with the words the speaker bravely speaks and allow that person to feel seen and heard.
2 – Be Present
Placing our phones face down during conversations is a great start to being present. But our presence is more than just that.
Jesus stopped for each person who crossed His path.
When Zacchaeus peered down from a sycamore tree, Jesus didn’t just glance up. He stopped, looked, and invited Himself to dinner.
This kind of attention and presence changes lives.
3 – Build Trust
When the Apostle Paul wrote about bearing each other’s burdens (Gal 6:2), he wasn’t suggesting a quick fix. He described a shelter built of trust and understanding among believers.
Sometimes this could mean sitting in comfortable silence.
Other times, it could look like holding space for tears without rushing to wipe them away.
4 – Withhold Judgment
The woman caught in adultery likely braced for the stones of condemnation. But instead of rocks, she encountered love and understanding in Jesus’ eyes.
When someone trusts us with her story—even the messy chapters—we have a choice.
We can react with raised eyebrows or respond with grace and an open heart.
May we strive for kindness and to emulate our Savior.
5 – Reflect God’s Heart
Psalm 115:2 states God “has inclined His ear to [us]”—like a parent bending down to hear a child’s whispered secret.
Hearing what others share is more than gathering information.
When we listen deeply, we participate in a heavenly act of divine love.
Cultivate the Habit of Listening
Magic happens when we listen well.
Coffee shop conversations turn into connections. Quick hellos become holy moments.
Surface-level small talk transforms into sacred sharing. Hurt begins to heal.
God’s love becomes tangible when we cultivate a habit of listening.
Something beautiful happened that day at the coffee shop. I learned to silence my notifications and tune my heart to a friend’s needs.
Sometimes the most powerful ministry happens in quiet moments of attention.
Take a moment to reflect.
Who needs you to create space for his story today?
Perhaps a coworker who seems a little quiet lately. Or your teenager who’s hanging out with you more than usual. Maybe your spouse whose day-to-day stories might seem routine but carry hidden weight.
Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear” (Mt 11:15).
Jesus invites us to tune our hearts to the stories around us. When we listen with love, we can love like Jesus.
Start small today.
Put down the phone and look into someone’s eyes.
Ask a question and then wait—really wait—for the answer. Love grows in this sacred space of listening.
Loving others well starts with listening. When we listen well, we love well.
Dr. Billy Ready Jr.
Dr. Billy Ready is a Christian counselor, pastor, worship leader, and songwriter with over 50 years of experience in ministry and clinical counseling. He holds a PhD in Clinical Pastoral Counseling and specializes in marriage, family, and mental health counseling. He has written multiple books and provides compassionate care through his South Mississippi counseling office. He and his wife, Larke, have four children and six grandchildren.
