By Jana Carlson
What’s your “if only”? What change are you convinced will finally bring you peace? Maybe it’s a job, a diagnosis, a relationship, or some sort of breakthrough.
If only we had more financial stability.
If only parenting were easier.
If only my health improved.
If only our marriage were better.
If only we lived somewhere else.
If only…
It’s natural to long for what we don’t have, to imagine scenarios that promise the peace, joy, or relief we lack. But when we tire of dreaming about “if only,” our longing becomes striving. Instead of finding peace, we become increasingly weary.
Striving doesn’t always look like frantic activity. Sometimes it’s internal—mental rehearsals, emotional tension, or the need to feel prepared for every possible outcome. We grip the steering wheel of our lives as tightly as we can, convinced we’ll crash if we let go.
I know that feeling.
Years ago, during a long season of unemployment in our family, I did everything I could to help us stay afloat. I meal-planned creatively, repaired worn-out clothes, sold household items, and hunted for jobs while caring for our three children.
I thought I was being faithful, but I was actually grasping for control out of fear. Beneath my effort was a nagging belief that our survival was all up to me. I believed if I didn’t strive hard enough, everything would fall apart.
If only I could get a job.
If only I could stretch our groceries for one more week.
If only I can find a way to make a few more dollars to tide us over until my husband’s next job.
The weight of responsibility nearly crushed me.
Striving can lead to exhaustion. We can only grasp for control so long before we burn out.
God’s Word offers a better solution, a better path to the peace we desperately desire.
God Invites Us to Be Still
“Be still, and know that I am God.”- Psalm 46:10a NIV
The invitation to “be still” from Psalm 46:10 reminds us of quiet mornings in a cozy armchair, or pastoral scenes of tranquil meadows and gently trickling streams. We read it and think, “Aah, sweet relief—if only!”
But the psalmist penned those words amid chaos: “though the earth gives way,” “though the mountains be moved,” “though the waters roar and foam” (Ps 46:2–3).
The stillness he refers to isn’t about silence or serenity. It’s about surrender.
The original Hebrew for “be still” can be translated as “let your hands drop.”
Stop grasping for control. Cease striving. Let go.
This doesn’t mean we do nothing. But it does mean we stop believing the lie that it all depends on us. We should trust the One who is truly in control.
When I was surrounded by piling bills, empty wallets, bare cupboards, and no job prospects, I learned to loosen my white-knuckle grip by relying on Jesus. He promised to provide our needs (Phil 4:19), so I focused on being faithful with what I had and letting go of what I lacked.
I understood Psalm 46:10 like this: “Stop striving. Let your hands drop. Pause and remember that I am God, and you are not.”
He’s God, and I’m not. What a relief!
Instead of frantically working from dawn till dusk, I chose to take breaks to play with my children and marvel at God’s creation. I rested intentionally, as an act of faith, knowing God was working even when I wasn’t.
Our family’s survival wasn’t all up to me. God was still in control, He promised to provide, and He’s always faithful.
We’re not in control, and we were never meant to be. No amount of striving can guarantee the outcome we want.
But even in the storm, stillness is possible when we anchor our souls to our sovereign God. When we surrender control to the Lord, we’re free to rest in His care, no longer carrying burdens we were never meant to bear.
How to Stop Striving and Start Trusting
Letting go of control is not a one-time act. Biblical stillness is a rhythm we practice every day.
Here are some simple ways to shift from striving to surrender:
1. Pray honest prayers of surrender.
Don’t pretend you’re not struggling. Bring your “if onlys” into the light.
Tell God what you’re longing for and what you believe will finally bring peace. Then ask for His help to loosen your grip. “Lord, I’m scared, but I believe You’re good. Help me to rest in Your care.”
2. Reflect on who God is and aim to know Him more.
The more we know God, the more we trust Him. He reveals Himself in the pages of Scripture—not just as Creator or King, but as Father, Shepherd, Healer, Helper, and Provider. Make it your daily aim to read the Bible.
Stillness begins when we shift our focus from what we lack to who God is. Meditate on Psalm 46, Isaiah 40:28–31, or Psalm 121. Let His character quiet your fear.
3. Build rest into your rhythm.
Striving always pushes, believing we don’t have time to stop. Stillness makes space for rest, knowing God is working and we can trust Him.
Practice Sabbath rhythms. Take walks without your phone. Block days and times on your calendar for leisure or unplanned activities to restore your body and soul. Prioritize weekly worship to remember God is God and you’re not.
Experience Peace When You Surrender Control to God
“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:31 NIV
We don’t have to live in a constant state of striving. We don’t have to wait for the next “if only” to find peace. We don’t have to wait for life to calm down before we stop striving.
Stillness is possible now.
In Christ, we already have access to strength, help, and rest. He’s ever-present, sovereign, and faithful.
Set aside your “if onlys.” Lay them at the foot of the cross. Make your primary aim to know Jesus more.
Surrender control to God and receive the rest your soul craves. He’s the source of the strength and stillness you long to experience.
A Prayer of Surrender
Father, I praise You for Your faithfulness! You’re steadfast even when I’m faithless and faltering. Help me know You more so I can trust You more. I give my anxieties and burdens to You. I choose to be still, cease striving, and wait for You. You’re sovereign, and You’re good. Amen.
Jana Carlson
Jana Carlson is a freelance writer, Bible teacher, and writing mentor with a mission to inspire women and writers to love the Bible, “rightly handle the word of truth” (2 Tim 2:15), and wield the word for God’s glory. She serves as a blog coordinator, editor, and women’s ministry leader at her church. Connect with her at janacarlson.com.
