Article By: Sarah Koontz, Founder of Living by Design Ministries
One of the most frequent questions we receive from our female readers is, “Are there any resources you can recommend to help my ‘husband, son, brother, or friend’ grow their faith?”
I’m definitely NOT an expert in men’s ministry, so I’ve invited my friend and mentor, Michael Altstiel, to answer this question for you.
I am excited to introduce Michael to you because his heart for men’s ministry mirrors my own heart for women, and he has so much wisdom and experience to share with us!
My husband and I are honored to call Michael a close personal friend, and we do our best to claim him as family (his sister is married to my husband’s sister’s husband’s brother—that makes us family, right?).
I met Mike, and his wife Leah, when they hosted a summer Bible study in their home as newlyweds (I believe I was 16-years-old at the time), and my husband has known him even longer.
Michael was the first person we asked to sit on the Living by Design Board of Directors last fall and we are incredibly grateful for the passion and experience he brings to our team.
As an Ordained Pastoral Counselor, Michael spent 16 years journeying to the “deepest depths of hearts” in his counseling office.
As time went on, God began to stir something deep inside Michael and he longed to see men’s hearts:
- Come alive for the things of God.
- Be transformed by the power of God’s grace.
- Find freedom from pretending.
- Stand victoriously and battle against the enemy.
From 2012-2017, Michael founded and operated Know the Covering Men’s Ministry.
He loves pointing the hearts of men to Jesus and inviting them to see what it means to be a mighty man of God.
On January 1, 2018, Michael became the Executive Director of CAVETIME, a men’s ministry that exists to kindle fire in the hearts of men around the world.
Michael is deeply convicted that God has designed man with an embedded need for Kavode (glory). When this “glory” is found through knowing and fiercely depending on Jesus and His Word, men become great leaders in their homes, communities, and spheres of influence.
God designed man with an embedded need for Kavode (glory). When this glory is found through knowing and fiercely depending on Jesus and His Word, men become great leaders in their homes and communities.
I pray you are encouraged, empowered, and uplifted by this interview with Michael Altstiel today.
Sarah: First of all, thank you for taking the time to share your heart with us today, Michael. I mentioned earlier in the article that your heart for men mirrors my heart for women. Could you share a few of the similarities you’ve seen in our approach to ministry, and also highlight what makes men’s ministry so (very) different from women’s ministry?
Michael: Thank you, Sarah. It is my privilege to share a bit of my heart with your readers. When you say that our hearts mirror each other in our specific spheres of ministry, I couldn’t agree more.
One of the main similarities that I see between Living by Design and Cavetime is the central position of God’s Word in the heartbeat of our approach. I am more and more convinced that true and sustainable change comes to a person’s heart through the interaction with God’s Word as they are being empowered by His Spirit.
Earthly wisdom will only carry a person to a certain level of freedom. It is God’s living Word, and its application to our lives, that brings true freedom. I don’t want to impart into someone’s life what I think, I want to point them to what their Creator thinks. Understanding God’s Word and applying it to our lives is the only place life “to the full” is experienced.
Understanding God's Word and applying it to our lives is the only place life “to the full” is experienced.Some of the main differences I have seen between men’s ministry and women’s ministry is in the approach. Typically, a man will respond to being told truth straightforward like a punch to the mouth. Men’s hearts are able to disengage from the situations emotion, hear truth, and fist bump the messenger.
Women seem to have a different reception of truth. Women seem to be on a journey to study the beautiful details of each circumstance for the full understanding. Both men and women will arrive at the same truth, it is simply a different processing path to the same destination. Understanding this fundamental difference in each gender will help minister to directly to each heart.
Sarah: I love your description of how men take the truth. You are correct, if I ever “punched a lady in the mouth with God’s Truth,” she’d start crying and run away, never to return! In your experience, what is the #1 thing Christian wives, mothers, sisters, and friends can do to better love and support the men in their lives?
Michael: Every man that I have come alongside, including myself, desires to gain and maintain the RESPECT of the women in his life. Respect to a man = love. Hands down this is the strongest support that a female can offer to the heart of a man.
Every man desires to gain and maintain the RESPECT of the women in his life. Respect to a man = love. Hands down this is the strongest support that a female can offer to the heart of a man.A man can more effectively receive, and act on his God-given empowerment to lead with excellence when the women in his life respect him and verbally declare that truth. It is good for a woman to realize that a man sees and experiences love through respect in tone, words, actions and how she portrays him to others. Ask the Father to reveal positive traits and areas in your men’s lives that you can declare. The love through respect of my wife empowers me to take on the world.
Sarah: Respect=Love. Great advice! When my husband and I went through our pre-marital counseling, I was encouraged to always speak highly of my husband (in private and in public). This advice has stuck with me, and I believe, truly protected my heart and my husband from attacks of the enemy. What is the first thing you say to men when they come to you for discipleship or counseling? The foundational truth you try to help them understand?
Michael: The first thing that I say to men when they come to me for discipleship is that I will not work harder than they are willing to work. God has an incredible plan for their life. That plan is made accessible to these men, but they have to want the change. I’m not going to try and drag a brother across a finish line.
Burnout is one of the major issues when it comes to pursuing the deep issues of another’s heart. By not working harder than my brother, this allows me to keep a healthy balance of encouragement, conviction, and avoiding enablement.
After that groundwork is established, I want men to know who they are in Christ. Without having a Biblical vantage point of who God says we are, we will constantly pursue lesser loves. Seeking glory for ourselves to get our voids filled and insecurities answered. Having our identity in Christ established, we are free to truly live and reflect God and His glory.
Without having a Biblical vantage point of who God says we are, we will constantly pursue lesser loves. Seeking glory for ourselves to get our voids filled and insecurities answered.
Sarah: What are the three biggest lies Christian men are battling against today?
Michael: 1.) Men believe that what they “do” determines their worth before God. Performance-based acceptance is one of the most paralyzing lies the enemy throws at today’s man.
2.) Men believe that God the Father is mildly or greatly disappointed in them. The desire for a man to hear that his earthly father is proud of him is one of the strongest driving forces in a man’s life and often translates into how he perceives the love and acceptance of the heavenly Father.
3.) Men don’t believe that they have what it takes. The enemy wants men to believe they are failures. The reality is that we can do nothing apart from the empowerment of God’s Spirit. The flip side of that coin declares that through dependency on Christ and His Spirit, we can be equipped and empowered to do any good work. Declaring and believing God’s truth is always the best way to combat the enemy’s lies.
Declaring and believing God’s truth is always the best way to combat the enemy’s lies.Sarah: What are some easily-accessible tools and resources we can share with our men to help combat these lies and equip them for battle?
Michael: First and foremost—the Word of God. It contains everything pertaining to life and godliness. Our men’s ministry, Cavetime, also has a resource for men called “Cavetime” written by our founder, Jeff Voth.
In this resource, we introduce what we call the “Five Stones of Cavetime”. Modeled after the five smooth stones that David picked up in the stream to slay the giant.
The five spiritual disciplines that we share with men to equip them for the battles ahead are as follows:
- Show Up
- Worship
- Prayer
- Engage God’s Word
- Live in Community
These simple, straightforward disciplines, when consistently practiced, will equip today’s man to live in victory.
Sarah: Can you tell us more about CAVETIME and the tools you offer to kindle fire in the hearts of men?
Michael: Cavetime is modeled after the example we see from David in 1 Samuel 22. David, a man after God’s own heart, had to escape from life’s assaults by going to the cave of Adullam. We are training today’s man to follow David’s example and run to the cave to meet with their God, train with other men, and slay the giants of today’s society.
We get to engage that battle through Cavetime Experiences ( Men’s events and church retreats), Cavetime Expeditions (Bringing men into creation to meet with their Creator through camping, hunting, and fishing), Cavetime Music, Cavetime Movies (We have a documentary soon releasing called, “The Trip”), Cavetime USA (Our national annual event for both men and women, usa.cavetime.org).
We also offer one-on-one discipleship, small “Cavetime” groups that meet weekly to practice the Five Stones together, and link the body of Christ together nationwide through the Cavetime Church Network.
Cavetime Ministries exists to inspire men to follow David’s example and run to the cave to meet with their God, train with other men, and slay the giants of today’s society
Sarah: Anything else you’d like to share with our readers today?
Michael: Our ministry has a resource called, “Defending the Feminine Heart” by Jeff Voth. We are passionate about training men to be a wall of protection and provision for the women in our lives. We need to empower the body of Christ to be fully expressed, both men and women, in order to completely portray the Gospel to a hurting world.
We need to empower the body of Christ to be fully expressed, both men and women, in order to completely portray the Gospel to a hurting world.When we get to walk in step with ministries like Living by Design, we are bringing the body of Christ into a better place of sanctification to present the whole bride of Christ holy and without blemish.
We love getting to “lock shields” with Living by Design. We know that our partnership furthers the establishment of God’s kingdom on earth, and grounds us in the Word and our identity in Christ. I am eternally grateful.
Michael Altstiel, Executive Director of Cavetime Ministries
