By Amy Simon
I typically look forward to my writing routine—sitting at my kitchen table, equipped with fresh coffee, a snack, and my open laptop. This use of my gifts should be enjoyable, but today it feels stressful and frustrating.
Have you ever experienced something that should bring you joy, but instead leaves you feeling discouraged, anxious, and less than?
The biggest culprits that steal my joy are the unbiblical soundtracks playing in my head:
“Who am I to have anything to offer?”
“I should be a more mature Christian by now.”
“My work isn’t as good as [insert name].”
“I haven’t accomplished enough yet.”
“If I don’t accomplish [insert audacious goal], none of this is worth it.”
The same scenario could play out while in a ministry leadership meeting, a school pickup line, or around the table at a family gathering. Our faulty mindsets can rob us of joy.
5 Lies That Steal Your Joy
These five unbiblical mindsets can play on repeat in our heads and steal our joy. Let’s unpack these lies and how to combat them with biblical truth.
#1 – Who am I to offer anything?
“For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.” – Ephesians 2:10 HCSB
When I met my husband, I had just returned from a year as a missionary in the Middle East and was raising financial support to join a stateside ministry organization. He was intimidated I was a missionary because he had a preconceived idea of what a missionary was like.
His image of missionaries was inaccurate. Missionaries aren’t super-Christians, extra-mature followers of Jesus, or saints with no faults or struggles. They’re just ordinary, sinful, struggling believers like the rest of us.
We tend to create an image in our minds of how a person in our role should be, think, feel, and act. When we don’t measure up to that image, we feel like a fake or an imposter. This mindset can surface in relation to ministry activities, work, parenting, or endeavors like writing for publication.
The idea in our heads that we don’t live up to is probably inaccurate. We should assess where that idea comes from, and on what (or who) we’re basing this idea.
If God has us in our roles, then our confidence should come from Him, not our ability to live up to a falsely manufactured standard.
The truth about you is in God’s Word.
#2 – I should be farther along by now.
“I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6 HCSB
“I have been following Jesus for almost 40 years—shouldn’t I have this figured out by now?” I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said this.
I wonder why I still have questions, doubts, and struggles. I’ve taken seminary classes, worked as a missionary in a foreign country, and led Bible studies and women’s ministries. Shouldn’t I have “arrived”?
This mindset is similar to the first. We recognize our failings and sinfulness and feel we fall short of some imagined timeline for spiritual or professional growth.
To answer this mindset, consider the source of that timeline. Scripture doesn’t contain a timeline you’re failing to meet.
We’re each on our own journey of becoming more like Jesus. It’s not a competition.
You’re not following a college course syllabus with dated exams. You aren’t behind. You’re where you’re at right now.
None of us will reach perfection on this side of Heaven.
#3 – I’m not as good at this as she is.
“A tranquil heart is life to the body, but jealousy is rottenness to the bones.” – Proverbs 14:30 HCSB
“Are my kids doing as well as hers?” “Is my ministry as successful as that one?” “Why is my coworker getting a promotion and I’m not?”
We all want to know how we measure up—how we’re doing in areas of life such as parenting, ministry, or our careers. To do that, we frequently use those around us as benchmarks.
But comparing ourselves to others can steal our joy.
The first two mindsets compare ourselves to an imaginary image and timeline, but this one involves comparing ourselves to actual people.
As we look at others’ lives, we usually feel we fall terribly short, or we criticize them to convince ourselves that we’re not doing so bad after all. Both responses suck the joy out of our lives.
Instead, we can ask God how He feels about us and compare ourselves to His Word to see how we measure up.
We’re all on our own journey, on our own timeline, and not in competition with anyone else. The benchmark isn’t other people, but whether or not we’re obeying and following God.
#4 – God will love me more if I do this right.
“For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift—not from works, so that no one can boast.” – Ephesians 2:8-9 HCSB
“Have I done enough?” “Am I good enough?” Nothing takes the joy from our lives faster than the constant hamster wheel of striving to earn God’s approval.
Instead, we should preach the gospel to ourselves. Over and over, we need to be reminded that we can never do enough to earn God’s love, which is why He came to earth as Jesus and died on the cross in our place.
If we have placed our faith in God, then we have His approval. Nothing we do or don’t do could make the Lord love us any less or any more.
Rest in God’s love. Obey and follow Him, but stop trying to earn your way onto His lap. You’re already there.
#5 – ‘Go big or go home.’
“His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave! You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Share your master’s joy!’” – Matthew 25:23 HCSB
Our final joy-stealing mindset is the lie that if it’s not big, amazing, and successful, then it isn’t worth doing. We find this mindset in all sorts of circumstances.
If we’re writing, we may feel that if our book isn’t a best-seller, it isn’t worth writing. In ministry, if our event doesn’t achieve the success we think it should, it isn’t worthwhile.
This lie can appear even in the little things of life, like house cleaning—“I must clean the entire closet today, or it’s not worth doing anything”.
This mentality can lead to overwhelm and frustration, and definitely rob us of joy! When we think this way, we’re defeated before we begin.
Instead, let’s shift our gaze to how God sees our activities and what He values.
In the parable of the talents in Matthew 25, the two servants who invested their talents and received a return were both praised equally, even though they were given differing amounts from the beginning.
God values the investment of our gifts to serve others rather than the size of our return.
Overcome Joy Stealers With the Truth
“Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” – Romans 12:2 HCSB
When we meditate on the truth found in God’s Word, we replace unbiblical mindsets with truth. Having true soundtracks in our minds can restore our joy.
What’s stealing your joy today? Do you find yourself stuck in one of these faulty mindsets?
Choose the lie that seems to surface the most and journal about it to uncover what might be below the surface. Then, find a Scripture passage to remind you of the truth about that joy-stealer and memorize it to renew your mind according to God’s Word.
Amy Simon
Amy Simon is a writer, writing coach, and podcaster. The Purposeful Pen Podcast encourages Christian writers to build a writing life with eternal impact. She also coaches writers to overcome unbiblical mindsets and use their gifts to glorify God and serve others. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and three children. Connect with her on her website, Facebook, and Instagram.
