It’s crazy how much I thought I knew about parenting before I got into the game. I laugh now about all the things I said I’d never do.
But a few topics hit too close to home to be funny.
One of those is how easily I can lose my cool. Even-tempered and hard to offend, I never thought I’d need to work on being a more peaceful parent.
Maybe you can relate.
I was an educator for almost a decade before becoming a parent. I was sure I’d seen just about everything.
From the inner city to the suburbs, I learned how to stay cool under pressure and manage a classroom full of 5- and 6-year-olds while rarely raising my voice.
I was shocked to discover my own kids could ruffle my feathers in under two minutes flat.
Twelve years and three kids into this parenting gig, I’m still not sure exactly why that is. (Although I do have a few theories.)
Over the years, I’ve put a lot of effort into recapturing my cool-as-a-cucumber persona from my time in the classroom. But I’m still a work in progress.
We can learn to manage our emotions and parent effectively—even when the last thing we feel is peaceful. Here are five habits I’ve learned over the years to become a more peaceful parent.
5 Habits of a Peaceful Parent
1 – Start and end the day with Scripture.
“This book of instruction must not depart from your mouth; you are to recite it day and night so that you may carefully observe everything written in it. For then you will prosper and succeed in whatever you do.” – Joshua 1:8 HCSB
The best source of peace is found in the Word.
Start and end every day reading Scripture.
Let’s make the Bible (or a Bible app) the first thing we look at when we wake up and the last thing we see before we close our eyes.
Regular Bible reading is a simple habit, takes a ridiculously short amount of time, and focuses the mind and heart in a way nothing else can.
2 – Make time for the Lord.
“Remain in Me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in Me.” – John 15:4 HCSB
Parenting humbled me more than any other experience. The longer I parent, the more I realize I can’t do it alone.
We need God’s grace, patience, love, and a whole host of other things every single day. And He’s ready and willing to give all that to us.
But we can’t receive any of those things without spending time with Jesus.
When we carve out time to spend with the Lord, our days go better.
This doesn’t mean things are always easy. However, when we make spending time with God a priority, our ability to handle difficult moments increases.
3 – Pray. Pray. Pray.
“Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” – Philippians 4:6 HCSB
We can ask God every morning to help us parent well. The request is simple—less of us, more of Him.
Will we sometimes miss the mark? Sure.
But starting our day with this prayer increases our joy and helps us tackle the problems of the day with the right perspective.
4 – Listen to worship music.
“My soul, praise Yahweh, and all that is within me, praise his holy name. My soul, praise the Lord, and do not forget all His benefits.” – Psalms 103:1–2 HCSB
Turn on a worship song when things feel frustrating or off.
We probably won’t feel like it in the moment.
But crank it up anyway.
It’s hard to be angry or upset when we’re praising God.
5 – Watch what you consume.
“Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” – Romans 12:2 HCSB
Let’s pay close attention to what we listen to and watch.
If we fill our minds with things of this world, then this world becomes our focus. And the world is far from peaceful these days.
Should we ignore the news or never watch our favorite show? No.
But if we want to cultivate more peace in our lives, then we should limit the things that steal it.
Read the Bible more often than scrolling the web. Listen to worship music more than secular songs. Spend as much time focused on the Lord as a favorite secular show.
It’s all about balance. Our level of peace depends on which way the scale tips.
An Imperfect Yet Peaceful Parent
I tell my kids emotions like anger and frustration are normal and okay, but they need to learn how to manage them appropriately.
When emotions control us, sin enters the picture.
The same is true for us as adults, especially when it comes to parenting.
Our kids watch how we handle our hot mess moments. They want to see what we’ll do when we’re tired and angry and frustrated.
We won’t always get it right. And that’s okay.
A peaceful parent isn’t perfect.
But we can be parents who consistently do our best to practice the habits above, setting ourselves up for success more often than failure.
We set the tone in our homes. We create the atmosphere.
And creating a peaceful home is one of the most important things we could ever do for our families.
Stacy Jenkins
Stacy Jenkins is the founder of Selah Home, where she writes inspirational stories and provides practical resources on marriage, parenting, and faith. Stacy lives in Missouri with her husband and their three precious daughters. She dreams of moving to the country and can never seem to get enough dark chocolate. Follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter.
